我的跨国之恋
[越南] 黄妃燕 广西民族大学
还记得2017年8月的那一天,乘坐河内至南宁长途汽车到达的我,背着鼓鼓囊囊的行李包,拖着一个40寸的黑色大行李箱,走出了停车场。一出车门热浪袭来,阳光照耀在大地上,反射过来的光线刺得我有点睁不开眼。这就是我要生活、学习五年的地方,我想着,内心有一点儿忐忑,又有一点儿激动。
一转眼两年半过去,乘着地铁1号线、72路公共汽车,渐渐地把相思湖、朝阳广场、花花大世界、青秀山走了个遍;螺蛳粉、老友粉、桂林米粉、柠檬鸭占据了我的舌尖味蕾;跟同学们交流的方式也从中英文夹杂地伸出双手比画,到现在能跟朋友们用汉语完成创业计划书、讨论《陈情令》的剧情,聊聊《向往的生活》上听到的八卦。
没想到在2020年的寒假,我只是回一趟越南过春节,这一回就是一年半的时间。我从未想过会在这么长时间里不能正常上课,不能和老师、同学们见面。曾经认为平淡的日常,和同学们一起在校友楼、学友楼、国教楼之间穿梭赶不同的课,一起去五坡饭堂打十块钱不到的饭,一起参加各种学生活动,拔河、观看展览、朗诵诗词……现在不断出现在我梦里。
广西民族大学大礼堂 / 黄妃燕提供
这段时间里,除了思念,围拢着我的生活是没有尽头的焦虑。由于班里只有我一个外国留学生,无法另设网课,所以“该如何继续上课”“如何掌握新知识”“如何面对考试”等问题成为我最大的困扰。就在这时,我亲爱的同学和老师,向我伸出了援手。
我想感谢的同学很多,但我最想感谢的是我们的班长梅梅,一个阳光灿烂的女孩,我最好的朋友。我因在国外无法完成的事情都被她一个人承包了。从2020年5月学校恢复课堂教学以来,每一门课程,经济法、商法、著作权法……如果没有她的帮助,我真不知道该如何完成学习。
“放心吧,我已经跟老师说清楚你的情况了,老师同意我分享屏幕了!”
“我已经到教室啦,一会儿进来听课哦!”
“今天设备有点问题,你别担心,我马上去找设备员。”
“郁闷,老师换教室了……”
翻开我们的聊天记录,字里行间,都让我心里感觉暖洋洋的。为了让我能听到老师讲课,在这么长时间以来她都坚持和每一位授课老师说出我所处的情况,每次课都提前到教室为我打开分享屏幕,当设备不支持时,不厌其烦地一次次去找负责人维修。
除了同学,学校的老师也给了我很多关爱,其中最让我感到温暖的是我的班主任陈老师。作为学院的副院长,陈老师总是事务缠身,但百忙之中他总不忘再三叮嘱我,让我有任何困难要告诉他。长达一年多的时间没有在班里出现,我感觉我的存在感都快要消失了,但陈老师会时不时在讲课的时候提起我,替我“刷存在感”。
2020年秋季学期,他开始给我们上“商标法”这门专业课。像往常一样,梅梅早早地到教室帮我开好屏幕分享,我也拿好纸笔,坐在电脑前,虽然艰苦但依然知足地做着“旁听生”。“张××。”“到。”“李××。”“到!”上课了,老师开始点名,听着熟悉的名字,熟悉的声音,想象着许久未见的他们的面容。“黄妃燕。”远在中国广西南宁的教室,和我所身处的越南河内的房间,两个空间同时安静了2秒钟。“到!”我喊着,仿佛我的声音能传递到教室的那一头。
虽然每堂课我都会听,但由于不是老师操作进行的网课,我只能旁听,不能参与课堂,不能回答问题,当然,也不能对老师的点名有任何回应。教室里的大家也都知道,所以一般点名的时候不会提到我。但我的老师,他通过这种方式,让我感受到我和教室里的老师和同学们依然是在一起的。老师不知道的是,网络这边的我,鼻子忍不住发酸……
在我遇到过的老师中,陈老师是第一位亲手写信给班里的每一个学生的老师。在我对未来的人生规划特别困惑的时候,这一封信来了,它带着老师温暖的关怀和鼓励,“相信自己,付出总会有所回报”“未来你如何规划,我们会专门讨论”“我会提供力所能及的帮助”“学有所长,用自己的能力服务社会,实现自己的人生价值”……
我想,我二十多年攒下的运气都在和他们邂逅的那一天花光了。缘分真的很奇妙,我有幸在中国遇到了如此热诚的朋友和眷顾我的老师。一年多来,我跟他们说得最多的也许是“谢谢”这两个字了,可“谢谢”总是不能表达出我心中的感激和爱意。我想象着回到学校的那一天,我会拥抱他们每个人,以表达任何词语都无法演绎的感情。
两年前,我和同学约定春游时我教他们包越南春卷,他们教我包饺子。如此简单的承诺现在都难以兑现。每次聊天的最后一句话,“早点回来”,“一定要注意安全”。在毕业之前,我们还有很多要一起做的事,一起实现的梦想。我们隔着遥远的路程,心里却一直挂念着对方,希望对方平安,盼望着见面的时刻,像一对恋人。以前总迫不及待地想放假回国,和家人团聚,殊不知在中国生活、学习的这些年,我在潜意识里已经把广西民族大学当成自己的家,那里有我的“父母”、我的“兄弟姐妹”、我的骄傲、我的青春。我会将这份思念化成奋斗的动力,为了再见时可以见到更好的彼此。
黄妃燕与初级汉语班同学
My Transnational Love
[Vietnam] Hoàng Phi Yén, Guangxi University for Nationalities
I still remember that day in August 2017, when I arrived by the long-distance bus from Hanoi, Vietnam to Nanning, Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region. I walked out of the parking lot with a bulging luggage bag and a large 40-inch black suitcase. A blast of hot air hit me as I stepped off the bus. The sun shone on the earth and the sunlight was dazzling. I felt a little nervous and excited because this is the place I would live and study for the next five years.
Two and a half years passed rapidly. Taking subway line 1 and No. 72 bus, I gradually walked through Xiangsi Lake, Chaoyang Square, Huahua World and Mount Qingxiu. Snail rice noodle, Old Friend Noodle, Guilin rice noodle and lemon duck have become my favorite cuisines. At first, I communicated with my classmates with sign language and babbled both Chinese and English. Today, my friends and I are able to draft business plans in Chinese, discuss the plots ofThe Untamed and talk about the gossips heard inLonging Life.
I never thought that the winter vacation in 2020, when I returned to Vietnam for the Chinese New Year during, would last a year and a half. I never expected that I would be unable to attend regular classes and meet with my teachers and classmates for such a long period of time. The daily routines, such as shuttling with my classmates between the Xiaoyou Building, the Xueyou Building and the Guojiao Building to catch different classes, going to the Wupo Canteen to eat meals for less than 10 yuan, participating in various activities, tug of war, watching exhibitions, and reciting poems... now keep appearing in my dreams.
During this period of time, my life was haunted by endless anxiety in addition to missing. Since I was the only international student in the class, it could not set up another online class for me. I was greatly annoyed by the problems of “how to continue the class,” “how to grasp new knowledge” and “how to attend the exams.” At that moment, my dear classmates and teachers reached out to help me.
I want to express my thanks to a lot of people, especially to our class monitor Mei Mei, who is a sunny girl and my best friend. She helped me to handle nearly everything I couldn’t do as I was abroad. Since the school resumed in May 2020, every course, economic law, business law, copyright law... I really didn’t know how I would have finished my study without her assistance.
“Don’t worry, I’ve explained your situation to the teacher. The teacher agreed to share the screen with you!”
“I’ve arrived at the classroom soon. Come in and listen to the class later!”
“There is something wrong with the equipment today. Don’t worry. I’ll go to find the technician right away.”
“Too bad. The teacher has changed the classroom...”
Reviewing our chat logs, I feel so warm. In order for me to hear the teacher’s lecture, she kept telling every teacher the situation I was in. She arrived at the classroom in advance of every class to turn on the sharing screen for me. Once the equipment was broken, she would go to find the technician for repair.
In addition to my classmates, the teachers also gave me a lot of love and care. Mr Chen, the head teacher, has given me the warmest help. As the vice president of the college, Chen was always in the midst of busy schedule. Meanwhile, he reminded me frequently to inform him if I had any difficulties. For more than a year, I did not appear in the class, and I felt that I become an invisible person. Mr. Chen would mention me from time to time during the lecture to “prove my presence.”
In the fall semester of 2020, Chen started to teach us the course of Trademark Law. As usual, Mei Mei arrived at the classroom early to help me open the screen sharing, I sat in front of the computer with a pen and paper in hand. The situation wasn’t ideal but I still felt satisfactory to be “an auditor student.” “Zhang XX.” “Yes.” “Li XX.” “Yes!” When the class started, the teacher began to call the roll. Listening to the familiar names and familiar voices, I began to imagine their faces, which I had not seen for a long time. “Huang Feiyan.” The two classrooms, one in Nanning, Guangxi and the other in Hanoi, Vietnam, where I was, became quiet for two seconds. “Present!” I answered loudly, as if my voice could carry to the other end of the classroom.
Although I listened to every class, I could neither participate in the class nor answer questions, and of course, not respond to the teacher’s roll call since it is not an online class. Everyone in the classroom knows this, so I am not usually called during the class. But my teacher aimed to make me feel that I was still together with them in this way. What the teacher doesn’t know is that on this side of the internet, I can’t help but have a sour nose...
Among all the teachers I have met, Mr. Chen was the first to write personally to every student in the class. When I was particularly at a loss about my future, Chen’s letter came with his warm care and encouragement. “Believe in yourself. There is always a reward for your efforts,” “how you plan in the future, we will discuss it,” “I will provide as much help as I can,” “Learn something, use your ability to serve the society and realize your life value.”
I think all the luck I had saved for more than 20 years was spent on the day I met them. Fate is really amazing that I was fortunate to meet such sincere friends and teachers in China. For more than a year, the phrase I can say to them most is “thank you,” but “thank you” can never express the gratitude and love I felt at heart. I imagine the day when I return to school, I will hug each of them to express feelings that no word can express.
Two years ago, my classmates and I agreed that I would teach them to make Vietnamese spring rolls and they would teach me to make Chinese dumplings on an upcoming spring outing. Such a simple promise is hard to fulfill now. The last sentence of each chat, “come back early” and “pay attention to safety.” We still have a lot to do together and realize our dreams together before graduation. We are far away from each other, but we always miss each other in our hearts. We hope everyone is safe and look forward to the time of meeting, like lovers. In the past, I couldn’t wait to return home from vacation and reunite with my family. However, during the years of living and studying in China, I subconsciously regarded Guangxi University for Nationalities as another home, where there are my “parents”, my “brothers and sisters”, my pride and my youth. I will turn this missing into a driving force for fighting, so that when we meet again, we can see each other better.